Seven Tips On Bringing Up Baby
The skills involved in raising a family and bringing up children are difficult to learn and no single approach fits every child - just because each child is unique. Yet a large proportion of modern parents seem to believe that the best way to acquire those skills is by consulting one or more of the thousands of books available in bookstores and online.
And it’s ironic that what was considered “best practice” from one author some years ago is now completely contradicted by today’s Best Seller or Number 1 Guru. In the first part of the twentieth century, for example, a structured routine was considered essential to prepare a baby and child for the disciplines and realities of adult life. One early introduction to discipline was for parents to avoid any instinct to pick up their baby as soon as he cried because then he would learn that he could expect attention on demand.
Dr Benjamin Spock was the first child care expert who went against the conventional wisdom of the time. Whether you agree or disagree with his opinions he was very influential in changing western society’s view on parenting. He argued that babies should be treated as individuals who did not fit into a disciplined routine and that cuddling and kissing your baby when they cried would not spoil him or her. Over the years many more child care experts have emerged with varying opinions as to the right and wrong way to bring up baby.
When I had my children, in the mid seventies, avidly reading all about pregnancy, childbirth and parenting certainly wasn’t as prolific as it is these days (I didn’t read any books). The midwife and doctor tended to be the ones who gave advice on feeding, sleeping, and bathing etc. It also seemed that mom’s relied more on their instincts and the guidance of their family to help them decide what was best for them.
I am certainly not an expert when it comes to parenting but there are a number of things that I found worked well for me and my children and I would like to share them with you:
* Whether breast feeding or bottle feeding I found it a great time to talk to them - not only does it help create a bond it is a time of closeness and lots of cuddles.
* Using our baby carriage in the open air of the back yard as a resting place for baby: this helped to bring on their more immediate and peaceful sleep. Obviously it is not feasible for working moms or those without a secure back yard - and today’s more popular stroller is nothing like as good as a baby carriage for this purpose!
* Having a routine, albeit flexible, seemed to work well - especially at bed time. From being young babies the routine used to be bath, feed, story then crib even before they were sleeping through the night. Even as the children got older having a calm time before bed seemed to help them settle better for the night.
* Helping to develop language skills by talking to them throughout the day no matter what we were doing: every part of the day provided some opportunity to discuss what was going on and what they thought, ranging from first getting up and dressing through to shopping, cleaning and going out to the park for entertainment.
* Setting aside time during the day for quality time and sharing - I used to get my chores done before lunch and then the rest of the day was devoted solely to the children.
* My husband and I always presented a unified stance in front of the children when it came to discipline (even if we disagreed after the event in private) - kids are great at playing one parent off against another from a very young age.
* Maintaining consistency: we were always prepared to explain what the “rules” were and we worked hard to keep the rules the same, wherever possible, because our children seemed to respect and respond to that.
As I said earlier I do not profess to be an expert on child care and I would never impose my views on people because everyone has different values. All parents need to find the method that works best for them but they will also need to be flexible as the babies haven’t read the book and every baby is different!